Giggles
by The Last Little Kodamas
Summary: really weird fic i wrote when I was sick, Cloud has to giggle, but he doesn't know how without losing his manly demeanor... you'll see.


Giggles. 

By: Teg. 

Cloud Strife, ex-SOLDIER, had an uncontrollable urge to giggle like a school girl. He didn't know why, he had never felt like this before, but it was driving him nuts. He decided to talk to someone about it, but who? He couldn't talk to any of the girls about it, they wouldn't understand, they weren't guys. Sure they giggled a lot but it was okay for them to do it. He couldn't talk to Barret, he had a big mouth AND he already thought that Cloud was gay. Cid was just totally out of the question. Vampires never show emotion, so there goes Vincent. Red 13 well, is a dog, and dogs don't giggle. So that left only one person: Cait Sith. Cloud didn't really know whether he could trust Cait, he was afraid he would report it to Shinra HQ and then it would be all over the papers. But Cloud was a desperate man at this point and desperate men don't care about those types of things, so long as there is always a gun or a sharp object nearby. Besides, even if Cait Sith himself couldn't help him, maybe his fortune telling machine would. Also, if the need ever arose to kill him, Cloud had no fears of being charged for killing a stuffed toy. So Cloud got up and headed to Cait Sith's room. 

"Cait Sith!" Cloud said, "Cait Sith! I have to talk to you" 

Cait Sith opened the door. "Go away." He said. He tried to close but Cloud grabbed it. 

"Cait Sith, I have a problem that requires your sage advice." 

Cait brightened up. "Really? You want MY advice?" 

"Well...yeah," said Cloud, "you're the only one who can help me." 

"Why didn't you say so?!" A now cheerful Cait Sith invited him in. "Sit down! Get comfortable! And tell me all about it!" 

Cloud sat down in a chair close to the door, prepared to leave as soon as Cait started to laugh. 

"Well..." Cloud said, "I really don't know how to say this but... I really have to giggle." 

"Giggle?" Asked Cait Sith. "Well, that's...odd. But totally curable." 

"It is?" Cloud exclaimed. 

"Well yeah. Perfectly normal too." 

"Thank God!" 

"Well," continued Cait Sith, "All you have to do is let it out." 

"Let...it out?" 

"Yeah, get that giggle out of your system, and you'll be fine." 

"How?" 

"Use your imagination." 

Well see, using his imagination was not something Cloud did very often, so it made this task extremely difficult. 

"Any suggestions?" He asked hopefully. 

"Nope." 

"Damn." 

Cloud got up and opened the door, there stood Barret and Cid, ears right next to the keyhole. They saw Cloud, looked at him and grinned. 

"So? Ya need ta giggle eh?" Asked Barret. 

" F@#K! Can't I have a private conversation around here?" Exclaimed Cloud. 

"Watch yer language!" Said Cid. 

"Anywhoo, seein' as how you don't want our help, we'll just go watch Passions now." Said Barret as he and Cid started towards the living room and Passions. 

"No! Wait! Do you guys have a plan?" Asked Cloud. 

"Well..." They said grinning widely. "Maybe yes, maybe no, maybe...both! It's gonna cost ya though." 

"Cost me?" 

"Yeah cost ya." Said Barret. "See, we need our laundry done in the worst possible way, and you always seem to know exactly how to get those stubborn stains out..." 

"Even the underwear?" Cloud winced. 

"Especially the underwear." Said Cid. 

"No way!" 

"We have some phone calls to make then." 

"No! Wait! I'll do it!" 

"Excellent." Barret and Cid grinned. 

"I hate you guys." 

"Whateva." Said Barret and they dragged Cloud off to their room. In Barret and Cid's room, which was dark and dirty and smelled like cottage cheese, Cloud was forced to sit down on a bed whose linens had not been changed in at least 10 years, while Cid and Barret continued to grin at him menacingly. 

"So Cloud," said Cid, "do ya still have that silk dress and crap?" 

"Uhhh...yeah I do." Said Cloud, not sure if this was the right answer or not. 

"Great!" Said Barret, "So all ya hafta do is put that on again, pretend top be a girl, and you can giggle as much as you friggin' want!" 

"_That's_ the plan?" Said Cloud, "Why couldn't I have though of that?" 

"Never You Mind, Cloud." Said Cid. 

"What is _that _supposed to mean?" 

"Just go and get dressed." Said Barret, "Whoa! Passions is on!" 

"OH no! Let's go!" And they hurried off to watch their beloved soap. 

Cloud went to his room and pulled out his silk dress, his lingerie, his diamond tiara, his blonde wig, and his sexy cologne and he put it all on. He snuck into Tifa's room and put on some of her makeup. He looked at himself in the mirror. _Ahh the memories,_ he thought, remembering the last time he wore this get up . He smoothed his silk skirt and headed out the door. 

"Good luck!' Called the two Passions lovers from the couch. 

Cloud wasn't exactly sure how he was going to get his giggle out like this, but past experience said that women giggled the most when talking to guys, so he headed to the bar. 

The bar was full of people, as usual, and Cloud scanned the crowd for some poor sod he could giggle for. There he was, standing in the corner. Cloud walked over to him, remembering to take small steps, just like Aeris told him. He even swayed his hips a little. 

"Hey big boy." Cloud said to the man, who turned around. EEEP! It was Johnnie! _I hope he doesn't recognize me!_ Thought Cloud. But luckily for him, the corner was a very dark one. 

"H-h-h-hi!' Squeaked Johnnie. 

_Am I really that hot? _Thought Cloud, _Freaky._

"But me a drink." Cloud said as breathily and femininely as he could. 

"Sure!" Johnnie bought him a Sol Sunrise and Cloud took a sip. 

"W-what's your name?" Asked Johnnie. 

"Veronica." Not the best name, but the only one he could think of. 

"So...Veronica," said Johnnie, "let's go to my place." 

"Silly Boy." Cloud/Veronica giggled. Well at least he got _that_ out! 

_WHAT?! _He thought, _I ask him to buy me one drink and now he wants me to go back to his place?!_ "I can't....Passions is on." 

"We can watch Passions at my place." 

"Uhhhh...." Cloud looked around desperately. Cid and Barret walked into the bar! 

"Gotta go!" 

Cloud ran over to Cid and Barret and grabbed their arms. 

"Get me outta here!"  
"Awright, but it's gonna cost ya double." Said Barret and they took poor Cloud back home. 

"So, didya learn anything Cloud?" Asked Cid, after Cloud had changed and washed himself with scalding hot water six times, his lucky number. 

"Yeah, never take advice from you and next time I have to giggle, keep it to myself!" 

THE END 

Author's note: yeah, that was weird. Inspired by someone else's fic in which Cloud giggles. Also inspired by boredom, as I have been ill for the past week, with nothing else to do. Well, I hope you liked it. I thought it was pretty funny. Review please! 

-Teg 


End file.
